VetSpeak.org exists to publish and
distribute the crucial voices and
perspectives of America's military
veterans in print, online and on disc.
distribute the crucial voices and
perspectives of America's military
veterans in print, online and on disc.
| DI WOOD |
| Speaking Truth to Power |
Vet Supporter; VVAW
Member; Last Patrol,
Boque Chitta, Watts,
Winter Soldier '08 Main
Room Security
Member; Last Patrol,
Boque Chitta, Watts,
Winter Soldier '08 Main
Room Security
SILVER SPRING, MD – When Ken Farr, a Smedley Butler vet, asked me to
smooth the edges of some flamingo pink tape on the carpet at the foot of the
dais at Winter Soldier, I didn’t know that the box we created would become the
center of my universe for the next four days. All of my Vetspeak.org friends
were signed up for security. But surveying my own experience and worth to
the group during the sign-up process, I was fully aware of my lack of combat
or crowd control experience. I figured child care, food service or even the
registration table might work.
And then I remembered myself.
If all my Vetspeak.org friends could work security; why not me, too? When it
evolved that my post would be front and center, I questioned whether IVAW
needed someone more macho in the role. True to their decades-long support
of women in key roles, I was proud and humbled to be included as part of the
primarily VVAW and VFP-related security team in the main room. As things
progressed, one audience member asked me where I got the training to do
the job. "Motherhood and menopause," I told her. "That's all anyone needs to
know."
But still, I didn’t feel quite right.
I had it easy, didn't I? Unlike the old VVAW and VFP vanguard securing the
front gate, standing for hours at a time in the rain and cold dealing with
protesters, I had a dry seat at the party. I could sit down. I felt guilty about
that. From where I sat (5th row center aisle), I could hear every word uttered
by every panelist. I could see the sweat on these young veterans’ brows, the
tears running down their faces, expressions of commitment, determination,
guilt and pain. When a vet shouted from the dais, I felt the winds of change.
When they laughed for fear of crying, I could feel the heat of their battles. And
when they tossed their innocence, their medals, their blood in anguish into the
crowd, it all came flying at me in pieces, my entire being seared by it all.
Maybe this wasn't such an easy post after all.
But I was not alone.
If America (and history) has any conscience, the anguish of the veterans and
speakers on the dais last weekend will be heard. (You must hear them at
ivaw.org). But there was another set of emotions rising, a fierce set of
emotions happening -- and that is the emotions felt by the deeply grieving
audience. This was a working audience, a profoundly affected audience, a
compassionate audience that not only had my back as a security person, but
the backs of every testifier on stage. If any violence had been propogated
against those young men and women, I know many who would have taken the
bullet. There is no question in my mind.
Yet this audience also sometimes pushed the limits, causing security like me
to spring into action at a second's notice. Yes, some didn’t realize that the
rules had to apply to everyone or they wouldn’t be respected by anyone. This
included war heroes, famous journalists, testifiers, infamous anti-war leaders
-- everyone. And yes, there was even a man who challenged me three times
over two days, with his square body, middle finger and flaming, angry eyes:
“I want to sit in THAT chair NOW,” his eyes said to me, even if it meant
creating a distraction from the veteran testifying. “You are mindlessly policing
someone who doesn’t need policing.”
But this is what I actually 'heard' him say:
“I am deeply grieving, as America should grieve, about the testimonies of
these veterans, about what they’ve had to go through, about what they are
still going through. I am tired of mindless, self-serving authority, authority
ridden with senseless, self-serving agendas and random parameters. It is
time, once again, for America to question their leaders. I do not know what
authority to rage at. I do not know where to put the emotions I feel.
And there I was.
Even if I overstate this man’s motivations, as I interacted with this audience it
was clear that as a group they were no strangers to questioning authority.
Given the scarcity of mainstream American press at the event, it was
an act of revolution just to attend! If a few lost their way in the sea of
emotion and pain, and I stood inadvertently in the way -- I say:
"Go home, write your feelings into words that others can read. Talk to people,
show them your pictures, your film. Do what you can to inspire others to seek
The Truth. Ending a war is a messy, emotionally bloody business. And at
least, by God, you showed up to the party. How can we not honor you for
that?”
Looking back over that weekend, no one left without some level of PTSD. The
question is, is it only the testifiers, the volunteers and the audience feeling the
pain? Shouldn't ALL Americans feel the pain? Shouldn't ALL Americans care
enough to seek out The Truth, to stop encouraging family members to fight
mindless, unreasonable wars based on misinformation and blind patriotism. Is
there no collective memory left in America? Can't we see that instead of
coming home feeling like victorious war heroes, many of our daughters and
sons return disillusioned and in pieces? This is a professional, non-
conscripted military. What has caused this change of heart in such
volunteers? What is actually happening over there? What is happening within
the military itself?
Listen to the Veterans who have been there! Show Us the Images, too!
As Amy Goodman of Democracy Now put it, even if it takes weeks of
publishing true images from the occupations to make Americans realize what
is truly happening, then so be it. Show us the images! It is time for our
government to share the burden of our veterans and other conscious souls –
and for all Americans to experience the disillusionment and devastation that
comes from sending men and women off to another mistake of a war. It is time
for America as a country to shed some tears, a sea full of them, and to turn
the mirror of responsibility on themselves and to experience, firsthand, a
whole shitload of PTSD. And then – even more importantly -- it is time to act.
As a woman experiencing Vietnam-era deju vu, I wasn’t as shocked as some
other audience members at the specifics of the testimonies. In fact, I wanted
MORE. Not because I am immune to human pain, not because it doesn’t
devastate and disembowel me -- but because I know how many millions of p.r.
dollars are being spent by the government and others to successfully
suppress these voices and experiences.
In America, when we feel discomfort or pain, we race to the doctor. But wake
up! The doctor is out and the Resistance has begun – fuelled and
inspired by the testimonies of courageous veterans, supporters and even
active duty military. Around the globe, veterans and supporters have begun to
see through the lies we've been fed by the large p.r. firms hired by our
government with our very own tax dollars.
We have begun to gather with one simple, humanistic, time-sensitive,
overwhelming, crucial, gut-wrenching, utterly important purpose -- to save
lives on both sides of the fight. Make no mistake about this, we are the
bullies! Most Iraqi people do not want us there destroying their 7,000 year-old
culture and history with our 300 year-old one.
Listen to your very own veterans; your own boots on the ground. Be affected
by their testimonies, as the audience at Winter Soldier was so affected. Help
our veterans, in every way possible, publicly and privately, to do their
important work. Their words and tears send a very clear message with the
proven power to end the occupations, as Vietnam veterans did three decades
ago. Educate yourself on this! It is NOT time to increase troop counts in the
occupied areas: It is time to bring them home.
Love,
Di Wood
Vetspeak.org
3/20/08
smooth the edges of some flamingo pink tape on the carpet at the foot of the
dais at Winter Soldier, I didn’t know that the box we created would become the
center of my universe for the next four days. All of my Vetspeak.org friends
were signed up for security. But surveying my own experience and worth to
the group during the sign-up process, I was fully aware of my lack of combat
or crowd control experience. I figured child care, food service or even the
registration table might work.
And then I remembered myself.
If all my Vetspeak.org friends could work security; why not me, too? When it
evolved that my post would be front and center, I questioned whether IVAW
needed someone more macho in the role. True to their decades-long support
of women in key roles, I was proud and humbled to be included as part of the
primarily VVAW and VFP-related security team in the main room. As things
progressed, one audience member asked me where I got the training to do
the job. "Motherhood and menopause," I told her. "That's all anyone needs to
know."
But still, I didn’t feel quite right.
I had it easy, didn't I? Unlike the old VVAW and VFP vanguard securing the
front gate, standing for hours at a time in the rain and cold dealing with
protesters, I had a dry seat at the party. I could sit down. I felt guilty about
that. From where I sat (5th row center aisle), I could hear every word uttered
by every panelist. I could see the sweat on these young veterans’ brows, the
tears running down their faces, expressions of commitment, determination,
guilt and pain. When a vet shouted from the dais, I felt the winds of change.
When they laughed for fear of crying, I could feel the heat of their battles. And
when they tossed their innocence, their medals, their blood in anguish into the
crowd, it all came flying at me in pieces, my entire being seared by it all.
Maybe this wasn't such an easy post after all.
But I was not alone.
If America (and history) has any conscience, the anguish of the veterans and
speakers on the dais last weekend will be heard. (You must hear them at
ivaw.org). But there was another set of emotions rising, a fierce set of
emotions happening -- and that is the emotions felt by the deeply grieving
audience. This was a working audience, a profoundly affected audience, a
compassionate audience that not only had my back as a security person, but
the backs of every testifier on stage. If any violence had been propogated
against those young men and women, I know many who would have taken the
bullet. There is no question in my mind.
Yet this audience also sometimes pushed the limits, causing security like me
to spring into action at a second's notice. Yes, some didn’t realize that the
rules had to apply to everyone or they wouldn’t be respected by anyone. This
included war heroes, famous journalists, testifiers, infamous anti-war leaders
-- everyone. And yes, there was even a man who challenged me three times
over two days, with his square body, middle finger and flaming, angry eyes:
“I want to sit in THAT chair NOW,” his eyes said to me, even if it meant
creating a distraction from the veteran testifying. “You are mindlessly policing
someone who doesn’t need policing.”
But this is what I actually 'heard' him say:
“I am deeply grieving, as America should grieve, about the testimonies of
these veterans, about what they’ve had to go through, about what they are
still going through. I am tired of mindless, self-serving authority, authority
ridden with senseless, self-serving agendas and random parameters. It is
time, once again, for America to question their leaders. I do not know what
authority to rage at. I do not know where to put the emotions I feel.
And there I was.
Even if I overstate this man’s motivations, as I interacted with this audience it
was clear that as a group they were no strangers to questioning authority.
Given the scarcity of mainstream American press at the event, it was
an act of revolution just to attend! If a few lost their way in the sea of
emotion and pain, and I stood inadvertently in the way -- I say:
"Go home, write your feelings into words that others can read. Talk to people,
show them your pictures, your film. Do what you can to inspire others to seek
The Truth. Ending a war is a messy, emotionally bloody business. And at
least, by God, you showed up to the party. How can we not honor you for
that?”
Looking back over that weekend, no one left without some level of PTSD. The
question is, is it only the testifiers, the volunteers and the audience feeling the
pain? Shouldn't ALL Americans feel the pain? Shouldn't ALL Americans care
enough to seek out The Truth, to stop encouraging family members to fight
mindless, unreasonable wars based on misinformation and blind patriotism. Is
there no collective memory left in America? Can't we see that instead of
coming home feeling like victorious war heroes, many of our daughters and
sons return disillusioned and in pieces? This is a professional, non-
conscripted military. What has caused this change of heart in such
volunteers? What is actually happening over there? What is happening within
the military itself?
Listen to the Veterans who have been there! Show Us the Images, too!
As Amy Goodman of Democracy Now put it, even if it takes weeks of
publishing true images from the occupations to make Americans realize what
is truly happening, then so be it. Show us the images! It is time for our
government to share the burden of our veterans and other conscious souls –
and for all Americans to experience the disillusionment and devastation that
comes from sending men and women off to another mistake of a war. It is time
for America as a country to shed some tears, a sea full of them, and to turn
the mirror of responsibility on themselves and to experience, firsthand, a
whole shitload of PTSD. And then – even more importantly -- it is time to act.
As a woman experiencing Vietnam-era deju vu, I wasn’t as shocked as some
other audience members at the specifics of the testimonies. In fact, I wanted
MORE. Not because I am immune to human pain, not because it doesn’t
devastate and disembowel me -- but because I know how many millions of p.r.
dollars are being spent by the government and others to successfully
suppress these voices and experiences.
In America, when we feel discomfort or pain, we race to the doctor. But wake
up! The doctor is out and the Resistance has begun – fuelled and
inspired by the testimonies of courageous veterans, supporters and even
active duty military. Around the globe, veterans and supporters have begun to
see through the lies we've been fed by the large p.r. firms hired by our
government with our very own tax dollars.
We have begun to gather with one simple, humanistic, time-sensitive,
overwhelming, crucial, gut-wrenching, utterly important purpose -- to save
lives on both sides of the fight. Make no mistake about this, we are the
bullies! Most Iraqi people do not want us there destroying their 7,000 year-old
culture and history with our 300 year-old one.
Listen to your very own veterans; your own boots on the ground. Be affected
by their testimonies, as the audience at Winter Soldier was so affected. Help
our veterans, in every way possible, publicly and privately, to do their
important work. Their words and tears send a very clear message with the
proven power to end the occupations, as Vietnam veterans did three decades
ago. Educate yourself on this! It is NOT time to increase troop counts in the
occupied areas: It is time to bring them home.
Love,
Di Wood
Vetspeak.org
3/20/08
| GUARDING THE BOX @ Winter Soldier 2008 by Di Wood, VetSpeak.org |
Photo by Chante Wolf
CLARIFICATIONS
IVAW = Iraq Veterans Against
the War
VFP = Vets for Peace
VVAW = Vietnam Veterans
Against the War
Smedley Butler Brigade =
Boston Vets for Peace Chapter
PTSD = Post traumatic stress
IVAW = Iraq Veterans Against
the War
VFP = Vets for Peace
VVAW = Vietnam Veterans
Against the War
Smedley Butler Brigade =
Boston Vets for Peace Chapter
PTSD = Post traumatic stress
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