VetSpeak.org exists to publish and distribute
the crucial voices and perspectives of America's
military veterans in print, online and on disc.
VETSPEAK.ORG
Speaking Truth to Power
BIOGRAPHY

Is It Time to Remember Ourselves?


In yet another unfortunate salvo fired by veterans against
veterans, the Vietnam Veteran Legacy Foundation "VVLF" (along
with Red, White and Blue Productions and Vietnam veteran
Carlton Sherwood) have sued John Kerry and his 2004
Pennsylvania campaign manager Tony Podesta over the film
Stolen Honor. The Left had already fired the first salvo a few
weeks prior. Kenneth Campbell and Jon Bjornson, long-time
antiwar activists and members of Vietnam Veterans Against the
War (VVAW), alleged that Sherwood, VVLF and Newsmax
defamed them in the documentary.

I'm not sure what to make of this mess, that is to say veterans
fighting veterans. When I was in Vietnam (either tour), we moved
Heaven and Earth to save any soldier whose unit was pinned
down or in danger of being overrun. For me, the choice was
success or to die trying. There was no compromise. This is not
macho bravado, but a deep-felt conviction that we don't abandon
our own. That's what I was taught in the Marine Corps and that
is what I took to heart. When CUPP 3 (Combined Unit Pacification
Program) was pinned down by enemy mortars, when a PF platoon
(Popular Forces or militia) were pinned down by small arms fire,
we were there. This is historical fact, not bravado; deeds not
hollow words.

My eyes moisten when I read about lawsuits like these, and
remember what all of us would have given to save each other.
But now that we are back in "The World," we call each other liars,
traitors, communist, fascist, pigs, lackeys, political puppets,
cronies and more. We demean ourselves when we participate in
this name-calling and endless cycle of hate. Let me be clear: We
don't have to agree with each other. We all fought for the right
to freely express our feelings and beliefs. But when we interact,
we should remember that the man or woman who opposes us
now, is the same man or woman who watched our backs in
Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan.

I believe that the Swift Boat Vets have the same needs as mine:

* Acknowledgement that I participated in events I have a hard
time imagining even today;

* Respect for my service to my country, whether or not you
agree with my politics;

* Not to be disparaged because I fought that war for love of
Country and family and saw it as my patriotic duty.

* To communicate in a manner that allows me to feel true to
myself when the conversation is said and done, even if I don't
convince anyone of anything.

With the Stolen Honor lawsuits, I see a chance to educate people
not just about the Vietnam War or even the Iraqi War, but about
War itself. The consciousness of this nation has already changed
when it comes to the government sending our troops to foreign
lands. We now take a longer, harder look at the reasons that a
president may have for committing our troops to war.

The central issue in these lawsuits is whether Kerry lied or
exaggerated the facts about what happened in Vietnam. Did
American "troops" commit wide scale war crimes or not?

I cannot speak for all troops, but I can speak for myself as a
former member of Lima Company Third Battalion 5th Marine
regiment 1st Marine Division (1966 and 1967) and Alpha Co. 1st
Battalion 7th Marines Regiment 1st Marine Division(1969-1970). I
neither take pride nor will I cower from this answer:

From firsthand experience, my answer is yes. I'll say it again, yes.

* Burning Villages: We burned villages. Lima 3/5 loved to burn
villages, a very common practice in Vietnam. In fact, I did not
know that this was considered a war crime until last year. These
actions were common knowledge all the way through the
Battalion Commander, and I'm sure, higher up than that.

* Killing Enemy Wounded: I personally killed enemy wounded that
I came upon in both tours because I thought that they may have
a grenade on them.

* Desecrating Bodies: I saw Marines desecrate bodies by
emptying whole clips of M14 or M16 bullets in to their bodies,
never checking to see if they were still alive or not.

* Killing Animals: We killed the animals in villages that we
identified as VC villages.

* Neglect and Physical Assaults of Prisoners: We physically
assaulted prisoners in our possession. A VC suspect on a
firebase was left so long in the sun without water that he drank
his own urine.

* Physical Assaults on Children: A young Vietnamese boy about
eight years old had a piece of his leg missing the size of my fist.
No one stopped to render aid. (After all, it was our fire that
injured him.) If this isn't a war crime, then it should be. We
booby trapped a bunch of canisters of assorted ammunitions and
lit the fuse that was long enough to give us about thirty seconds
to get out of the area.As we walked away at a rapid pace about
ten children all under eleven years old converged on the
canisters, we kept walking and said nothing. Fortunately, one of
them saw the fuse burning and they ran away. I don't know how
many made it because we didn't look back after the explosion.

During my second tour of Vietnam, I was involved in more or less
the same thing. This included the murder of a young Vietnamese
woman (about 18 years old) one of my
team leaders, who was pulling her by her hair. She was carrying a
baby in her arms and yelling hysterically. He got tired of pulling
her and dealing with her resistance, so he released her hair and
shot her dead on the spot. She was a good mother to the end.
When she dropped, she made sure that the baby landed on her
chest and was not hurt. What stands out the most from this
murder was that when she fell dead, her black pajama top
opened, exposing her breast. The baby (about 1 year old) then
tried to suckle her breast.
Even after all I had seen and done, this shocked me to the core.

Later, when our unit returned to the world, the same team leader
confessed to me that he and two other Marines raped a 70-year
old Mama-san while I was away on R&R. Again I was shocked.
Why didn't I turn this guy in?I still ask myself this question to
this day, but at the time these were my reasons: First of all, he
was one of my best friends in the unit. Secondly, Marines have a
"green code," similar to the police "blue code," that you don't
turn in your own no matter what. Thirdly, I didn't even record
these incidents in my diary. The William Calley, Mai Lai mass
murder thing was still a hot political issue. When all this
happened, I was the senior man on the spot. We were still in a
"hot zone" and I had
many other priorities.

The Swift Vets (and the Right in general) would say that these
things just didn't happen. They would say that I exaggerate
because I hate America. That I want to tear down America, or
that I am out to defame the military and/or the government.
Nothing can be further from the truth.

And the fight – veteran against veteran – begins.

I have been telling these same stories since I returned from
Vietnam. At first, it was
to come to grips with what I had done: I simply could not believe
that I shot wounded soldiers multiple times. When the truth
finally set in, I was outraged at my conduct and deeply sick in my
heart. I was furious with God for allowing me to commit these
outrages against humanity.I had to find an enemy other than
myself to blame for what I did. For a time, I chose the
government, the police and the military. The flag and patriotism
became hollow words and symbols to a heart bleeding profusely
from psychological wounds. I was too much of a coward to
commit suicide. The Marine Corps response to my two tours was
in Vietnam? Three Purple Hearts, One Bronze Star, One Silver
Star.

That was then and this is now.I have traveled a long road. I have
matured. I have even forgiven myself for what I did. I no longer
blame God, country or government; I have brought the
responsibility and the forgiveness home to me. I write this story
now – not out of vindictiveness, malice or hate – but to tell the
American people that what Senator Kerry testified to were same
things that I witnessed and participated in.

I do not know why the Swift Vets continue to say that these
events are untrue, did not occur and were not widespread. Truth
knows no political boundaries, and a cover up or denial will not
set us free. Lying about the truth will not serve our nation, the
military, my unit, or history. Yes, there are those who did not
cross the line. I admire and salute any combat veteran that kept
his or her integrity in such an extreme situation.

But I also must add my voice to the record: There are many of
us who did commit war
crimes with the full knowledge, approval and even under the
direction of our superiors. I ask that you respect this truth
without impugning my patriotism, military record or integrity, just
as I continue to honor yours.

To all American service personnel and veterans: Thank you for
your service.

CALIXTO CABRERA
VETERANS FIGHTING VETERANS
CALIXTO
CABRERA
by CALIXTO CABRERA
Calixto Cabrera served 6 years
in the U.S. Marine Corps,
including two tours in 'Nam.  
He was born Puerto Rico 1948
and moved to New York at
about 3 yrs old.  In July 1965,
he joined Marine Corps and was
discharged as a sergeant in
1971 with an honorable
discharge. In 1972, he joined
VVAW and in 1977, he
graduated with an AA degree in
Air Transport (Commercial Pilot,
Flight Instructor).

He has two children, Sage and
Amber; is about to be a
first-time granddad to twin
boys; and lives in Colorado.

His journey has taken him
from rage to peace.

Calixto@vetspeak.org